I wrote this post and put it at the top of my blog. Now I am taking it down–because things have changed. I’m starting a vegan Christian Monastery! You can read more elsewhere on the blog. I wanted to include this post because it is part of the history of the community. Here it is:

When I discovered that the land use laws in our county change from practically zero to extremely controlling I realized that I can’t invite people to come until I am very clear about how to set everything up legally. In addition, it seemed so complicated. 

Because I am in a place where I am wanting to live an extremely simple life with zero motivation to earn money or even raise money–I don’t have the funds to pay a lawyer to help set up an LLC or other legal entity which might be able to help make the land more secure for community living.

In some ways, this coming to a grinding halt is a good thing. I keep thinking I am ready to share my vision with others, and invite people to join me in my endeavors. Yet what I yearn to do is to live on the land by myself, and devote my energy to growing food using veganic permaculture methods.

I also want to connect with Jesus on a deeper level than ever before, and be solid in this relationship. My goal is to be able to practice the presence of God even when I am with people.

I am happy to say that I have my two former husbands, Cliff Mikkelson and Robert Kersbergen, who I can work with on the land. I want to spend more time with my children, one of whom is having a baby in a month!

I feel torn. I have been promoting this community for 4 years, and longed for living in community for 45 years. So I feel somewhat humbled and embarrassed by my withdrawal. Yet at the same time, I know I need to be true to my needs–and the needs of the land. I am hoping to learn from the land–what she wants and how I can bring that to fruition.

I know she wants to be decluttered, and for healthy gardens to prosper. I am pretty sure she wants people to come and learn from her how to live with her in harmony. I am sensing she wants me to to do that first, with the support of Robert and Cliff.

I want to be guided by Jesus and nature–learning how to listen to their cues. I have spent countless hours and the past 45 years looking for people who have common values. How fortunate I am to have Cliff and Robert still as my friends. How blessed I am to have our children (Chris and Maud) living fairly close by with their spouses. I am glad to have these people in my life as inspiration and motivation.

Long have I wanted to “save the world.” I’ve resisted the idea that in order to change the world I need to change myself. My entire life has been about service–and it still is. I am motivated to go into a place of introspection, meditation, prayer and connection to Jesus and nature in the deepest possible way because I have hope that this is the best way I can serve.

I remember reading when I was in my twenties, as a student of Yogananda, about how there are different phases of life. The years after age 65 or so were described as “a The fourth stage: This is a time to focus deeply on the most meaningful aspect of life – our relationship with the Divine.”

I couldn’t imagine ever wanting this. I am feeling inclined to create a community which is more like a monastery–where people are together to encourage each other to focus on our relationship with the Divine.

This summer will be a time where I get to explore what that looks like and I will be writing about that on the blog.

If you want to keep in touch, I suggest you send me your email and I will keep you on a list of people to contact when my plans are solidified. Also, follow my blog www dot wellspringcommunityblog dot wordpress dot com in order to read my updates.