“It is essential that we resolve conflicts in a constructive way. Unresolved conflicts which always ends up being destructive to all, can be alleviated by following Biblical principles which are very similar to strategies used by secular communities. Not all conflict needs to be resolved with the other person, because sometimes we can realize that our issues with others are things that we need to deal with by ourselves. But even the smallest offense, if gone untreated, and if shared with another person, can lead to gossip which is one of the, if not the most, destructive aspects in community. Thus, we have a rule of conflict resolution based on scripture and that is adopted from the Bruderhof Church which is “There is No Law But Love” which you can read here: https://www.bruderhof.com/foundations/church-order#no-law-but-love #59″

The following AI generated description of conflict resolution is helpful. I did edit it. Thanks, AI! I don’t think AI demands a copyright, so that is handy.

The scripture that guides us:

Matthew 18:15-20 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed^[a] in heaven. ¹⁹ Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

esus teaches about the importance of resolving conflicts and forgiving one another within the community of believers. He emphasizes the importance of approaching the situation privately, between the two individuals involved, and then, if necessary, involving one or two others to help resolve the issue. If the issue still cannot be resolved, it should be taken to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen, they should be treated as a Gentile or a tax collector.¹⁵ “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed^[a] in heaven. ¹⁹ Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”esus teaches about the importance of resolving conflicts and forgiving one another within the community of believers. He emphasizes the importance of approaching the situation privately, between the two individuals involved, and then, if necessary, involving one or two others to help resolve the issue. If the issue still cannot be resolved, it should be taken to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen, they should be treated as a Gentile or a tax collector.

Here are some key points to take away from this passage:

• When a brother or sister sins against you, you should go to them privately and address the issue between the two of you (Matthew 18:15).
• If the issue cannot be resolved privately, take one or two others with you to help mediate the situation (Matthew 18:16).
• If the issue still cannot be resolved, take it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen, treat them as a Gentile or a tax collector (Matthew 18:17).
• Jesus emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, saying that whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matthew 18:18-20).
• He also emphasizes the importance of agreement among believers, saying that if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by his Father in heaven (Matthew 18:19).
• Finally, Jesus promises to be present with his followers wherever two or three gather in his name (Matthew 18:20).

When your brother sins against you, it’s essential to address the issue promptly and privately. According to the Bible, Jesus teaches us to “go to him” and “tell him his fault, between you and him alone” (Matthew 18:15). This approach is crucial for several reasons:

• Preserve the relationship: Going to your brother directly shows that you value your relationship with him and are committed to resolving the issue amicably.
• Avoid gossip and rumors: Taking the issue to your brother privately prevents the spread of rumors and gossip, which can damage relationships with others.
• Give your brother a chance to repent: By speaking with your brother one-on-one, you give him the opportunity to acknowledge his mistake, apologize, and make amends.
• Seek reconciliation: The ultimate goal is not just to correct your brother’s behavior but to restore your relationship and bring about reconciliation.

Remember, when your brother sins against you, it’s not just about you; it’s also about his relationship with God. As the Bible says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15).

To ensure your brother hears you out and takes your concerns seriously, consider the following:

• Choose the right time and place: Try to have the conversation when you’re both relatively calm and not rushed. Find a private setting where you both feel comfortable and won’t be interrupted.
• Be clear and specific: Clearly state your concerns and feelings, using “I” statements instead of “you” statements, which can come across as accusatory. Provide specific examples to support your claims.
• Avoid blaming or attacking: Focus on the issue at hand, rather than attacking your brother’s character or personality. Use a non-confrontational tone and avoid being confrontational.
• Listen actively: Make sure to listen to your brother’s perspective and respond thoughtfully. This shows that you value his input and are willing to work together to find a solution.
• Show empathy and understanding: Try to understand where your brother is coming from and acknowledge his feelings. This can help him feel heard and understood, making him more receptive to your concerns.
• Be open-minded: Be willing to compromise and find a middle ground. Avoid being rigid in your expectations and be willing to adjust your approach if needed.
• Follow up and follow through: After the conversation, make sure to follow up on any agreements or actions discussed. This helps to build trust and shows that you’re committed to finding a solution.

Remember that effective communication is key to resolving conflicts and building strong relationships. By being clear, respectful, and open-minded, you can increase the chances of your brother hearing you out and taking your concerns seriously.

When addressing your brother about his sin, it’s crucial to approach the situation with care and sensitivity. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

Don’t assume you know his heart: Avoid making assumptions about your brother’s motivations or intentions. Instead, focus on the specific actions or behaviors that need to be addressed.

Don’t be judgmental or critical: Phrases like “You always” or “You never” can come across as accusatory and defensive. Instead, use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns.

Don’t focus on past grievances: While it’s essential to acknowledge past hurts, dwelling on them can create a sense of resentment and bitterness. Focus on the present and future, and work towards finding a solution.

Don’t try to fix the problem yourself: As much as you may want to, you can’t fix your brother’s sin or behavior. Instead, focus on addressing the issue with him and seeking his repentance.

Don’t ignore the issue: On the other hand, ignoring the issue can allow it to fester and create deeper problems. Addressing the issue promptly and privately is essential.

Don’t be overly confrontational: Approach the conversation with a humble and loving attitude. Avoid being confrontational or aggressive, as this can lead to defensiveness and hurt feelings.

Don’t expect immediate change: Your brother may not change overnight. Be patient and understanding, and focus on the progress he’s making rather than the progress he’s not making.

By avoiding these common mistakes, you can approach the conversation with your brother about his sin in a way that is loving, respectful, and effective.