About ten days ago, I realized that I needed to continue with my goal of starting a community with the focus on values and goals that were important to me. My desire to commit to living the rest of my life as a member of the Bruderhof church, living in the communities that they commit to living in as part of their religious beliefs of sharing everything in common, was partly out of weariness. I persuaded myself that I was not fit to start a community, and that I no longer had the creativity, vision and energy to do so.

I am capable of persuading myself of many things that are not true. That is why I need wise people around me to counsel me, but not order me around. I did seek the counsel of people in a Facebook group called “Afterhof.” The group was created to support people who had left the Bruderhof church and who had been hurt by the church. I try to do my due diligence and research groups before I get involved with them, and I had done so with the Bruderhof.

But I persuaded myself that the people who had left did not have valid complaints. When I would read the posts in the FB group, I didn’t see much content that seemed pertinent. Then when I shared with the group who I was and how I was considering joining the Bruderhof (and I am definitely visiting for a week in mid-July), I got all kinds of feedback.

I was actually encouraged because most of the people seemed to genuinely care about my well-being. People began to share their stories and concerns, and I realized after engaging in this discussion that I was not going to be happy if I joined a community that was not promoting veganism or in alignment with Christian Universalism. I was putting my desires for security and community over my values, and that is just not how I want to or can live.

I have a choice. I can beat myself up for almost choosing that route, or I can empathize with myself because I can see that living in a loving community has been my passionate desire for almost five decades. A part of me said, “I can’t wait any longer to live in community, and my needs are more important than my trying to save the world.”

Of course I could not commit to living in a Bruderhof community until I visited, and then did a “novitiate” time where we all would discern if I was a good fit. But I was imagining so vividly that I would be living in one of their communities, and in my spare time I could write about veganism and Christian Universalism. Maybe I could even inspire the Bruderhof to adopt these goals. Oops! It is rarely a good thing to join an organization with hopes of changing it!

Five days ago, on the morning which I decided that the way I was going to start the community was to simply look for one person who would live on the Wilberforce Village site in the common house that is almost completed. I lived there last summer, and although it is not easy without electricity and running water, I was able to be comfortable. Since Cliff, my neighbor and friend (and former husband), has electricity, I could use a refrigerator and freezer. I am close to getting a solar system set up so I can have internet. And I have a system set up to collect rainwater for water needs.

On that very day, I received an email from a person who just might fit the description of who I would like to join me. I am going to call her Jean. If we need to part ways for some reason, I prefer not to reveal her name.

I was really struggling because I wanted to write a description of the ideal person, and I just didn’t get inspired. I also have needed to write out my values which I am refining, but I haven’t felt motivated about that either. I keep waffling about some values, and I am realizing that the person who partners with me could help me decide about the values. I realized also that the person who is the first to join me will help set the priorities of what we work on.

The first priority is to make sure that our living conditions are nurturing. Jean has three rescue cats, and we would need to make sure that they are taken care of as well.

I was delighted to hear that Will Tuttle is friends with Jean, and that Will recommended me as a good person to work with, and considers me to be a friend. We did communicate a lot more before I left the animal rights movement, but I sure was happy when the pandemic struck that Will was standing up for freedom. So many vegans were going along with the narrative where they were willing to give up their freedom for safety, and lies that they believed.

Jean and I have had a lovely back and forth conversation via email, and she just sent me this video with Will talking about his new book, Food for Freedom.

I listened to 25 minutes of the video and was so inspired and motivated by Will and the podcast host, Rev. Carol Saunders, that I agreed with Jean who wrote in her email that she wanted the goals of any community she joined to be Save the Animals, Save People’s Health, Save the World.

I realized that I could align with those goals, and make them the focus of the community. I realized that Will Tuttle is a person whom I respect perhaps more than anyone else in the world. I had been immersing myself in the Christian world, especially Christian Universalism and teachers who emphasize the goodness of God, and encouraging people to live out the Sermon on the Mount, and engage in practices that would conform us into the likeness of Christ.

The one vegan Christian group which I was involved with several years ago, has as one of its foundational beliefs a belief in eternal conscious torment for those who do not believe in Jesus in the right way. And I was called on the carpet by the leaders of this group because I had the belief that the Bible teaches Christian Universalism, that all creation will be reconciled to God, and that the animals, humans, and in some beliefs, even Satan and the fallen angels, will be reconciled to each other and to God. Learn more about Christian Universalism here: https://christianuniversalist.org/beliefs/

I started attending a Seventh Day Adventist Church a few months back because I thought perhaps I would find some Christian vegans I could relate to. I did find Christian vegans, but their teachings including that God would destroy people who didn’t believe and act properly, just did not fit with my passionate belief in a Creator (a Trinity) who was all good and smart enough to figure out how to bring all of life into harmony without forcing them–kept me from attending their services. My deep desire, once again, to belong clouded my judgement. I did appreciate the vegan/vegetarian potlucks and the fellowship, but unfortunately the price of attending the weekly potlucks after church was to attend the service which just did not inspire me. I probably could have attended only the potluck (there was not a sign at the door or anything prohibiting me) but really I just didn’t want to invest my time in developing relationships with people who had such differing beliefs.

It is important for me to say that I don’t need people to think exactly like me, yet there are some beliefs–like it is okay to hurt animals, or God is going to punish people even though most of them grew up in dysfunctional environments where they didn’t know how to behave in ways that benefit all of life, and have beliefs about God which are true. I hope to interact with all people in ways like helping our neighborhood be more cooperative and teach people how to be healthy, and waking people up to the truth about deception and lies taught to us in school. I’d like to support homeschoolers who don’t want their children indoctrinated. I was so fortunate that our children were homeschooled, and they are independent thinkers.

Another reason I felt hopeless about starting a community on my own is that I felt so alone. But I realize that because of my extensive work in animal rights when I was supportive of Direct Action Everywhere, I met a number of vegan influencers, including Will, who might refer people to Wilberforce Village. Even though I realized that DxE at the time had some major weaknesses which I describe in this blog http://www.isdxeacult.wordpress.com, I will always be grateful for the wonderful experiences I had with this group and the connections I made.

I was delighted to find out that Jean is a supporter of Ron Paul. If only he would become vegan! That is a project I really want to work on–inspiring freedom-loving influencers such as Ron Paul to promote the vegan message by helping them to see how we are curtailing the freedom of animals and how that effects people from childhood on.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Russel Brand and his family wanted to join our community? He is one of the only vegan freedom-loving Christians out there. I think he would embrace Christian Universalism once he heard about it.

And I also would like to have Glenn Greenwald join the community with his children. Since his partner died, I would think he could use some help. Maybe Tucker Carlson would become a vegan and join us.

Can you imagine that there is a community made up of vegans who want freedom for all beings everywhere, and want to create a world where all of life can flourish? It’s not necessary for people who are influencers to be a part of the community, but I can see that having a goal of attracting such people would make it easier to expand the community because of the positive influencers who might influence others to join. Plus, it would help the influencers be even more empowered to do their influencing, and provide an example for others to live in community. I do think that the only way we will achieve the goal of saving the animals, people’s health, and the world, is by living in healthy communities.

I want Wilberforce Village to be a model of such a community and to help others to start communities where they live. There are very few vegan communities around, and we need more of them for sure! We also can inspire communities by doing something like attending the communities conference in Twin Oaks, and being part of the Communities Convergence, I think intentional communities need to realize that veganism needs to be considered as part of their goals for equity and sustainability.

If more Christians could see that veganism is Biblical and something that Jesus would most likely teach today as demonstrated in the movie Christspiracy and in the book Why Every Christian Should Become Vegan.

I have joined the Christspiracy group but haven’t been active. I used to join Will Tuttle’s World Peace Facilitator group (I became a facilitator but never did anything with that certification) monthly but I don’t know if he hosts those anymore. I had a good connection with Lisa and Judy at the Vegan Spirituality group which meets monthly, and I want to join that again as well. There is a spirituality conference which meets in October that might be a great opportunity to meet like-minded souls. I need to connect with Rev. Carol Saunders who founded Spiritual Forum Podcast. Maybe she would like to interview me.

Well, I need to just reflect a little bit about why I have changed so much in a short amount of time. Three months ago I had decided to make the community Christian because a person who seemed likely to really form a partnership with me wanted that. I was willing to change from being more open to more closed because I wanted total support of my Christian faith, and didn’t want to navigate differences that would result from people having different spiritual paths.

But after three months of more experiences with Christians–in person and listening to podcasts and teachings, I realize that I have more in common with spiritually-minded vegans than I do with non-Christian vegans, or fundamentalist vegan Christians. Sometimes I just need to step into a belief in order to find out that it is not for me. I learn from experience.

I think it is possible that I am now ready to welcome a partner or two who want to finalize the vision of the community. I was trying to spell it all out before people came, but now I feel more open. As long as basic values are shared, beliefs about spirituality can be more varied, I believe. I am going to finalize my non-negotiable values, and share them today. I’ve been prioritizing other responsibilities and activities over revising my values, but today I feel very inspired and motivated with the possibility of Jean being a partner in creating community.
I have been disappointed many times when I thought there was potential for partnerships, and they all fell apart in ways that were tragic because there was no final resolution. I understand that people don’t want to invest time in closure when there is no possibility of cooperation in the future–and I also empathize with people who fear difficult conversations and taking responsibility for their part. I would want to take responsibility for my part in the failures as well.

But each time someone comes to me exploring joining community, and I can see that they have potential–like they are willing to answer a questionnaire and provide references–I get inspired and enthusiastic. I keep thinking I won’t ever hope again, for the let-down is so painful. But I guess Jesus gives me the resilience to open up to new possibilities. I do healing of past trauma’s every day with Jesus, and I think this is the best way to overcome treating the present as if it might be the past hurt and thus acting in ways that are self-sabotaging.

I’ll be sharing this blog post with Jean, and I look forward to her response. A friend of hers wants to visit, and I look forward to getting to know her as well. She is willing to fill out a questionnaire. Oh, and I will answer the questions, too!

If you feel inspired to comment, I would love to hear your input.