About 3 years ago I started doing a version of the Immanuel Approach that I believe has helped me heal my past, feel closer to Jesus, and be able to love and forgive people including those who I have felt hurt by. I feel so grateful to Karl Lehman for creating this technique, and encouraging me to practice it. Ideally this practice is done with another person who serves as a facilitator, but I could never find such a person. I am also grateful to people like Bill and Christie Gaultiere who promote the Immanuel Journaling. They helped me realize that I can connect with Jesus and be healed by him by myself.

So this is what I do currently. Perhaps I will review the above links and revise what I am doing, but right now this is working beautifully for me.

I pray the Lord’s Prayer usually, and just start remembering times when I felt Jesus’s influence and presence in my life. I have been fortunate to have had many profound experiences which I didn’t realize in the path were from Jesus, but now I give Him the credit. For example, one of the most powerful is when I was backpacking in Yosemite with my girlfriends, and camping high above the Yosemite Valley. I was sleeping outside, my favorite way to sleep, and gazing at the stars. All of a sudden I sensed a presence giving me a message that I interpreted as this:

“You need to get out of the United States and travel. Get out of the system you are in and learn something new.”

Even though I had wanted to travel before, something always stopped me. But at age 18, when I received this message, I was able to make a plan and a year later be on a plane to Paris. This 13-month life-changing journey changed the direction of my life completely from a philosophy of “if it feels good, do it,” to “The only way I will be happy is to serve and use my talents.”

Often I will then remember all the miracles that happened leading up to my leaving California, and the ways that I was protected, perhaps by angels, in my solo journey as a young white woman traveling mostly in Muslim countries including Iran, Pakistan, and Afghanistan. India was dangerous as well, and so was Europe! Of course, hitchhiking by myself did not help anything!

I will also remember recent occasions when I felt Jesus intervene in my life, as well as so many other times when I was saved by His love, even when I didn’t believe in Him as my Lord and Savior.

After I am feeling very connected and grateful, then I ask Jesus or just think about something that happened in my distant past or even recently that was hurtful. I imagine the situation, and feel the grief associated with it. 99% of the time I will do some intense crying. Then I ask the questions, “Where are you in this situation? What do you want me to know?”

I also, while I am crying, picture that Jesus is gazing at me with immense compassion, or I imagine that he is holding me like a little child and comforting me without words.

99 percent of the time I will hear from Jesus words that are wise and helpful. Sometimes we have a conversation. Rarely, but sometimes, I will rail at Him at ask Him why this situation had to happen. He is always there for me with some clarity that helps me feel at peace.

I feel a sense of release after hearing from Him, and then I just want to pray. I breathe in saying silently, “Jesus Christ,” and breathe out saying “agape love.” When I breathe out, I imagine people whom I want to pray for–family, friends and situations like the wars going on. I sometimes feel drawn to pray for all the people whom I have felt hurt by.

Sometimes, before I get to this peaceful time, I will pour out my prayers and petitions about all my concerns.

When I get up, (because I do all this lying down without ever getting out of bed,” I just feel a peace, and a readiness to focus on the tasks at hand. I set my alarm for every 15 minutes in case I fall asleep.

In spite of my prayers to Jesus to help me sit up, to read the Bible, to write down the insights I have…I have not ever been able to regularly do any of those things. It is as if those things will distract me.

I do love to hear others speak about the Bible. Right now I am really appreciating the sermons by Heinrich Arnold who is a pastor in the Bruderhof Church and listening to people like Rich and Doreen as they read passages, especially from the Sermon on the Mount, and discuss how to live those teachings out in a practical way–which they are doing at the Bruderhof communities according to what I have heard and read about in their various presentations.

I really believe that doing this practice for 2-3 hours–sometimes up to 4 hours, each morning for the past three years has healed my past trauma immensely. I feel a sense of peace and joy consistently. Yes, I also do my best to pray unceasingly and connect with Jesus throughout the day. I used to listen to a lot of political stuff, but now I am focusing on mostly listening to the Bruderhof Youtube channel since I am exploring living there and want to learn all I can about their beliefs and practices. I get the sense that I am ready to live in a community that does not share my passionate vegan beliefs, because following Jesus teachings from the Sermon on the Mount by living in a community that strives to do so, is more important than persuading people not to hurt animals. I can’t imagine giving up my vegan ways after 48 years of being committed to doing the least harm possible to animals (I was vegetarian for the first 39 years because of my ignorance and denial of the suffering of animals and birds who are in the dairy and egg industry) but the past 9 or10 years of being vegan has solidified this lifestyle. However, I no longer condemn people who do eat meat. I know I do things that are not in alignment with Jesus teachings. For some reason I thrive on a plant-based diet and I’m very sensitive to animals’ suffering. Others have a heart for the poor, homeless and disabled. Although I feel sad for such people, I do not feel called to focus on alleviating their suffering unless I am part of a church and community such as the Bruderhof where I can join others in doing this type of service.

I should mention here that I have some other spiritual practices like chanting with a melody, “Lord Jesus Christ, Thank you for your Mercy, Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for your love.” Or other chants with melodies, “Lord, create in me a clean heart” or “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” or “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good, do not be overcome by evil.”

Before I go to sleep, I do my best to recall how God was working in my life that day and be grateful, but I do fall asleep pretty quickly when I do that, which is a good thing. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep, then I do my Immanuel Approach method instead of just lying awake and wanting to go back to sleep. Then usually I do go back to sleep.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I wonder if you might share how you do emotional healing of past trauma with Jesus, or in other ways.